KindergardeN graduAtion

Today..

is my cousin "graduation day" from the age of 5 going to 6

and the graduation was held in my college

yaH..IN HICT KLANG!! they rent the place

so lame man!!!

hahaha..

Since....

i got nothing to do

so I mar go lor...

the kids dances were so cute which reminds me of my kindergarden days

but my day in the kindergarden is bad

I always got bullied by my friends

I don't really have any friends too

and i'm the tallest of them all

haiz..

i'm very very stupid always got played and teased by my friends

and i remembered when i complained it to my teacher

she wouldn't bothered much as well

because she don't like me and she thinks that i'm really annoying and always didn't do well in the class..

sad rite?? :(

Anyway, that's a long time story

I wouldn't want to mention more about it

at least i do well now

who cares about kindergarden...

and down this picture is my cousin bro (NICK)

real naughty little boy

talks like a grown-up but act like a little brat

hahaha...

but still...he looks real good today

loves his hair

his mom purposely bring him to hair salon to do his hair

very cool!!! :)

and he dance awesome

LAstly,

HAPPY GRADUATION DAY FOR YOU LITTLE NICK

AND today

I also watch dvd with my dad at home

ORPHAN

"great movie"

This girl acted very very well

love the story lines

very scary but GOOD

OH YA!!

today is also

a trick or treat day

HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYONE

XD

describe LOVE???

What was it like when a person hurt too much
he or she got so afraid to be hurt again?
Is a fear that u cannot see but is strong enough to held you back to the world of misery....

Does HOLDING ON make someone stronger or LETTING GO?

You fell many times
yet you just can't get enough

What is love?
Why it can make someone so blind to see?
Love is not stupid...
but I remember once I did called someone stupid because of love
doing something which is unacceptable....
but when this happens to me
I finally understand

Yes...
is broken into pieces when u knew the things u ever wanted
could never be fulfil
yet we'll still continue holding it on close to your heart
and thats the path that we'll be walking through
Is that called LOVE ?

I am afraid to walk this path
But
sometimes
is extremely hard to control this feeling
i try to hide
but how??
when this feeling is pulling me back

Time?

Time never heals
time never cure
not for me
time is just a reason for me to live on with the pain i held on to
is just an excuse for people to say it is a healer

WORDS sometimes can't describe how people feel
Not even your TEARS can make people understand how you deeply feel inside
not till you experience it yourself.................................

TOday is MY First timE ever!!!

OK..

who is this?????

and what is she doing here????

OMG!!!!

IS....

LIM JIA HUI

WHAT IS SHE DOING WITH MY PHONE???

GOD..

She is taking picture

haha..

swt swt =="

where was her?

in ROMP Fitting room

and i was just next door trying out my clothes as well

but i didn't take any picture

only her..

DUi...

she is still taking picture

do u think she is yeng with this baju??haha....

comment please!! cos she really wants to know..

hahaha XD XD XD

Actually today is my first time taking train with Jia hui

she teach me how to take train cos i dunno how and i never try it before

lame betul me!!

from klang, teluk pulai to KL and subang JAya

so we went to MID VALLEY..

IN mid-valley we ate JAPANESE FOOD
haha..

yay..

then...

she went to do something very incredible after lunch

but i'm not gonna mention here :)hehe

secret!

After that

we go buy buy baju

can't find any clothes that we want in mid valley

so when we sit another train

we went subang parade

go see more clothes

yup

we did get something

then..

go get some drinks

go back and take another train

the train got abit of delay

but still good, can still reach klang by 7.30pm.. XD

ANYway,

I had a great day

though is quite tiring

but i enjoy shopping with you

thanks alot jiahui

we should hang out more XD

but remember to save money first

haha

next time we go sungei wang and times square k!!

more clothes!!!!!

can buy until u really broke man

hahaha

LAStly,

HOpe U feel better

and

no matter what happen

you will still have your friends around you

and

I will always be there for YOU, whenever u need me as well

HUGS HUGS

and

LOTS OF LOVE :)

AND

LIM JIA HUI

YOU ARE SUPER DUPER HANDSOME AND THIN!!!!!!!

XOXOXO

haha

hope it will makes you smile

but honestly

u r quite good looking anyway

BIRTHDAY SOOKIE WITH BACON

P/S: READ SLOWLY AND STEADY

MY DEAREST SOOKIE

OH NO...

I MEAN

MY DEAREST SOOK ANN ANN

HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY!!!

IS MY GREATEST HONOURED TO HAVE YOU AS MY GOOD FRIEND

hehehe~~~~

i know i abit kUA cheong ad..

but nevermind let me continue 1st

HERE

I WOULD LIKE TO MAKE MY APOLOGIZE FOR WISHING YOU SO LATE

I KNOW

WHAT A HORRIBLE FRIEND YOU HAVE

BUT

DON'T WORRY

I VERY SENG MOK WANT

I WILL BELANJA YOU EAT BACON ROLL

AT BBQ PLAZA

5 BIG PLATE OF BACON ROLL!!!

ENOUGH???

IS OK

IF IS NOT ENOUGH FOR YOU

CAUSE

YOU CAN ORDER SOME MORE

BUT

THE EXTRA ONE YOU PAY YOURSELF

hahahaha

AND ONE MORE CONDITION

WE ALSO SHARE THIS 5 BIG PLATE OF BACON ROLL

WHICH MEANS

I EAT 4 PLATE OF BACON ROLL AND YOU EAT 1 PLATE OF BACON ROLL

HAHAHAHAHAHA~~~~~

I'M SUCH A GOOD JOKER!!!

XD XD XD

Reflection of all

Someone is leaving again

Someone that I hated so much
Someone that once makes my life so dejected
Someone that I wish that she could just leave and never return

BUT
This someone......
Makes me feel so bad today.....

Because
She taught me how to be better this time
She helped me when I needed it the most
She showed me when I'm wrong

She........
I have no words to describe her anymore

Thoughout this year
Mirrors and mirrors kept appearing in front of me
Reflecting all those dreadful behaviour act thoughts judgement that I had made
Though it appears slowly

Yet

I can feel how horrifying these apppearence could be

The tears in my heart is kept to be rub away
with much force on it
cause is not just only tears
is more than just that

I understand and confessed

I'm not good
Not good as a person
Not good at all

In fact
I'm bad
SO bad

My feeling is alerting me
My thoughts is changing me
My experience is teaching me
My dream is reflecting me

Is too real

But
There is one most SIGNIFICANT taught
That haunted me the most

That sounds this way

"The one that I tend to love the most,
Is the one that Hurt me the most,
But..
The one that I hated the most,
Is the ONE that Inspire my life the most"

And I Believe
Time is not the healer of everything
The One that live within You is the healer of itself
Cause sometimes there are just things that the time cannot erase~~~

Tell me if I'm right???

when this feeling

When this feeling step over

I know

I'm on the way to recover

I know

I'm feeling better

I know

I'm on the way up there

With all these feeling

I promise..

I will continue my journey

and NO more looking back

I think this picture is really cute

hehe.... :)

"JUst so YOu Know"

I shouldn't love you

but I want to

I just can't turn away

I shouldn't see you

but I can't move

I can't look away

I shouldn't love you

but I want to

I just can't turn away

I shouldn't see you

but I can't move

I can't look away

And I don't know how to be fine when I'm not'

Cause I don't know how to make a feeling stop

[Chorus:]

Just so you know

This feeling's taking control of me

And I can't help it

I won't sit around,

I can't let him win now

Thought you should know

I've tried my best to let go of you

But I don't want to

I just gotta say it all

Before I go

Just so you know

It's getting hard to be around you

There's so much I can't say

Do you want me to hide the feelings

And look the other way

And I don't know how to be fine when I'm not

'Cause I don't know how to make a feeling stop

[Chorus]

This emptiness is killing me

And I'm wondering why I've waited so long

Looking back I realize

It was always there

just never spoken

I'm waiting here

been waiting here

[Chorus]

p/s : last and never once more

BegiNNinG

When YesteRdaY Past

I thiNk and ThiNK,

I wonder and wonder,

When i first stEp into the caR,

I knEw somethiNg is not right

I caN Sense it

I doubt as weLL

aNd RealizeS

hOw awFuL it wouLd be

I'm scArE

wheN I Know the truth

I'm stunt

wheN I Know It doesn't beloNg to Me aNY LongeR

I'm shattering

when the time it concluded

EverytHing chaNge

bUt The onLy thAt doesn't change

Is ME

hOWever

it wiLL Never happEn Once More

cause thiS tiMe

I wILL Change

Nevertheless

I coMpleted evErytHing that I desire to Do

I toLd Her the thIngs that i wIsh to Say

NOw...

Is tiMe for A frEsh StaRt

Is A sTart of A neW mE :)

ThiS is hOW it lOOk likE

FOOLisH me........

WHy did I wEnt anD vIew it?

thE paIn

thE sorEneSS

the HeartbreakINg

It BLoomS up AgaIn

I GraB mY Heart sO tight preventing it frOm FalliNG aPart

Yet It losses balance and slips Off

I'm SpeechleSS

IS suppose to be a great daY toDay

Since I weNt anD vieW it

It RuiN EverYtHinG

Is Like PeeLing off My SkiN agAin

With All the bruiseS OveR

CaLLIng beggiNg CryiNg

PLEASE StOp

I caN't Take it AnymOre

PLease LEAve Me aLone

I surrEnDer

I kNeeL dOwn Upon U

With All these tEars

The PAin IS JUst too MUcH......

ThE daY Of 04"10"2009

On THis DaY

In THis PictuRE

IT makeS me reAlize hOw MUch I beeN hiDing

hOw HarD My heArt beatSS
hOw haRd i trY to Be strOng and hAng On
hOw hArd I SuppresseD
hOW iT bloCKed My MinD awaY
hOw I losses aLL my coNsciousness

Till that
I see it Better wiTH my oWn eyeS
It Hurts me TiLL I waNt it to eNd tHis time
Is too mucH
Is too REaL
Is liKe pulliNg awaY my scaR
I caN't Hold bacK nO more
Cause My thoughts are ChokiNg On YoU

I heLd my Heart stroNg enough
To prevent it froM breAking intO pieces
StiLL
I'm JusT NOt tough
to carrY on
My tears came by
these tears are the words my heart uses to explain
when my fake smile
can't cover up my pain

reseaRcH papEr Day AgaiN :(

StayiNg baCk iN collegE

foR aLMost 2-3 weeks

DoiNg my EnglisH assigment

Is About PlastiC surgEry but NOw i neeD to cHAnge it intO coSmetic surgerY..

DUi....

AnotheR extRA wOrK to do

Been struggling alot with mY courSe mates to do ouR Best to Prepare this researcH..

YAr....

though is only a reseach paper but there is alot to be done

CauSe My teacher is "HigHLy HighLY stricT"

She expecT everYthiNg to be PErFecT

No spelling No grammar No language MISTAKE

Must have the FLow and Bla BLa bLi Bla.......

ANd this reseacH paper coNtain ALot of mArks for me to pass

SO is very very very IMPORTANT!!!

But anyway, we completed our 1st draft and we JUst handed to HER

HopefuLLy thIS time we can do better than the previous one

haha

two same laPtops!!

Me and VysHu got the Exact saMe LaptopS..hehe

Been sitting infront of the laptops for hours to do our reseacH

Can u IdenTiFy whiCh is Mine???

the LEtf one or the right one??

OptimisTic

wheN i try To be optimistiC

pretend to be myself in the way that I used to be

And I distracT myself from all the memories

maYbe i wiLL bUry aLL the Pain awaY

SOmetiMEs DruGS Are nOt the maiN KEy of aLL these miserY

Perhaps tHis is whaT i thiNk now

Might wILL not know what i caN thiNk off for the next Minutes

HoweVer foR Now, I juSt want to staY awaY from aLL the Memories

I need to recOver

I will make myself as bUsy as I couLd

Is painfuL though......

But if I don't do it

I'm killing mYself insidE so miserably

caUSe deeP Inside I'm stiLL holdinG on

But nOW my heart is telliNg me to Give Up

I beLIeve that

"giviNG uP doesn't meaN you're weaK,

sometimes it means that YOu are strong enough to Let go"

Hopelessness Helplessness Worthlessness

YesTerDAy..
I realize
fOr the Past 3 mOnths

My woUnd seeM Never HeaL at all
I thOughT i WerE
BuT ActuaLLy In the OtheR way roUnd
I Just continUe supressinG iT so baDLy
collEctiNg bits by bits of the paiN
suddeNly whEn it rIp Off
the sOreness is crushiNg me Back to the WorLd of misEry aGain

In tHe saMe waY
I keeP PulliNg mY scaR TiLL iT getS biggeR and biggeR
finaLLy..
i fiNd iT so DiFFicULt to meNd IT bAck toGeTher

For This ReaSOn
The plaN tO looK Back fOr mY druGS is the 1st solutiOn thAt i cAN think off
Is thE onlY way for me to seize of aLL theSe
Like I onCe Try
It damaGe me poweRfuLLy
aNd I get addictEd to certaIn exteNt tHaT i wiShes tO try the othErs
BuT I faiLed to oBtain it tHis tiMe
And no where to be found

sOmeHow I'M jusT worRied tHat I will kePt mYsELf clingiNg It thIS waY
As
the memOrIes stiLL LingeriNg iNsidE oF me
everY pIcture is getting cLearer aNd clOser to Me
and It woN't sTop leaviNg Me
Helplessly
cryIng at a LengHt of timE
WiThoUt A siNgle vOicE cAn be HearD
TryiNg so hard not To be knOwn

WHAt is aLL theSe?
WhAt haVE i become?
pArt of me had gonE the other part is...........................................................

qUizzz XXXXXXXX

haha...

FiNallY
i finish my finAL quiz for my psychO
feel soooo relieve
can breath better now....
hahaha...

Luckily My quiz wasn't that tough, still boleh tahan..
AnywaY,
psy 215 mates gonna plan a farewell party for miss shoba..
hehe..
I'm getting a cake for her A CHOCOLATE cake..
yum yum``
this gonna be interesting..
and Tmr is hoLidaY

and i wonder why my uncle didn't call me
Hmmm...
I think he must be fed up alreadY
cos i every week also give excusses tht i can't come
but next week i think i might have to go
or i scare things will get worst

quiz quiz and quiz

EveRy week alSo got quiz..

CraZZZZZZZY ONE!!!!

I don't feel like studyinG

I'm bored alreadY

BAnyaK the LAzy larrrrrrr

l feel like sleepinG now

haizzz...

OK!

i'm noT gonna write alot today

Going To study Now!!!

~~GAmbate Gambate~~