Hopelessness Helplessness Worthlessness

YesTerDAy..
I realize
fOr the Past 3 mOnths

My woUnd seeM Never HeaL at all
I thOughT i WerE
BuT ActuaLLy In the OtheR way roUnd
I Just continUe supressinG iT so baDLy
collEctiNg bits by bits of the paiN
suddeNly whEn it rIp Off
the sOreness is crushiNg me Back to the WorLd of misEry aGain

In tHe saMe waY
I keeP PulliNg mY scaR TiLL iT getS biggeR and biggeR
finaLLy..
i fiNd iT so DiFFicULt to meNd IT bAck toGeTher

For This ReaSOn
The plaN tO looK Back fOr mY druGS is the 1st solutiOn thAt i cAN think off
Is thE onlY way for me to seize of aLL theSe
Like I onCe Try
It damaGe me poweRfuLLy
aNd I get addictEd to certaIn exteNt tHaT i wiShes tO try the othErs
BuT I faiLed to oBtain it tHis tiMe
And no where to be found

sOmeHow I'M jusT worRied tHat I will kePt mYsELf clingiNg It thIS waY
As
the memOrIes stiLL LingeriNg iNsidE oF me
everY pIcture is getting cLearer aNd clOser to Me
and It woN't sTop leaviNg Me
Helplessly
cryIng at a LengHt of timE
WiThoUt A siNgle vOicE cAn be HearD
TryiNg so hard not To be knOwn

WHAt is aLL theSe?
WhAt haVE i become?
pArt of me had gonE the other part is...........................................................