"An Quan Gan"

Is every chinese people favourite's day
or
maybe we can say happy day?

But for me
Is just any ordinary day that i got extra holidays...
Cool??
I guess...
Lately,

I really don't feel like blogging

the mood is just not there...

However today,

my mood change..

Real bored now
And I miss someone real much:(
Feeling a bit sad
cause i think alot again

At times,
Is real difficult to express what I'm really feeling inside
I don't even have the guts to tell anyone else, not even her(jh)
Sometimes, i just want to be left alone, being single
but sometimes i wish being with someone...

Is so complicated...
I turn out to be more and more unreasonable (pa tau)
I don't know what's the exact thing i want from her
dong bu dong jiu angry till she is so afraid...
I feel very bad for her
that is why sometimes I just want to give up...

afraid of losing..
afraid she'll be taken...
afraid she'll not love me anymore..
I'm controlling, I know I am
she dislike the way I'm acting..

Problems and problems overlapping
I'm tired
I cried...

I know i'm gonna lose you one day cause the way i treat you
this is why i'm giving up more easily now
then regret..
I predicted the ending
for what we are feeling now when we are together
i fall faster and unable to grab tightly
cause i'm scare to be hurt.....................
that is why i told you
I don't have an quan gan when i'm with you